Fasting in Your Family
You’ve heard the same thing said about fasting from many preachers over the years—Jesus didn’t say “if you fast” but instead “WHEN you fast.” There’s an expectation that followers of Jesus fast as a part of their regular spiritual walk, but so many avoid it altogether. Hopefully this year we can engage in the discipline of fasting as a family and continue to make it a part of our spiritual lives in the future.
What is fasting?
Fasting is the willful refrainment from physical gratification. We fast to fuel longing, to tear down idols, and to seek direction from God. We can certainly achieve these things without fasting, but when we fast it adds emphasis to how desperate we are. John Piper says, “Fasting is a physical exclamation point at the end of our pleas to God.” I need you! I want more of you! YOU are my treasure, Lord! Lead me! Heal me! When we want to hear from God, we pray. When we desperately need God in some major area of our lives we pray and fast.
How do we fast?
Fasting is typically either going without something or adding something to our daily rhythms. We are usually pretty quick to point out that you can fast other things than food, like TV or video games or social media. While this is true, I think it’s unwise to throw the whole food thing out the window so quickly. While you certainly don’t want to have your children fast any meals, you should think about fasting candy, desert, or chips, or even some sort of modified Daniel fast which is mostly going without meat. There’s something significant about allowing your body to yearn for something to eat that more closely mirrors our yearning for God than our desire to play video games does. To be clear, fasting anything for God is a great practice and should be encouraged, but don’t forget that fasting can and should also include what we eat at least some of the time.
When do we fast?
We fast anytime we want to, anytime we can, anytime we feel led to do so. But we also have a season in the Church that we focus on fasting called Lent. Lent is the 40 days (not including Sundays) leading up to Easter. It starts on Ash Wednesday each year and is a practice that prepares our hearts to celebrate our risen Savior! I think Lent is a great season to specifically talk about fasting and teach about fasting within a group - whether that be your family, friend group, small group, cul-de-sac, or any other group that can hold you accountable and grow together.
A Few Good Ideas
The best idea is the one that gets your family talking about fasting. So get creative, get on the internet, crowd source this practice from your small group - whatever you can. But here’s a few ideas for you to consider during this journey.
A Simple Fasting Prayer
F - Focus on God
A - Ask for what you need
S - Say you are sorry
T - Take the right path
A Simple Fasting Activity
Sometimes a visual reminder that is sort of fun helps our message get through! So gather the family together for this fun fasting illustration! Grab two disposable cups, a marker, and several small slips of paper you’ve cut already. One on cup write “Give Up” and on the other write “Fill Up”. Now spend time talking as a family about things you can Give Up to get closer to God and things you can do to allow God to Fill Up your heart. Once everyone has had a chance to add several things to each cup put them somewhere everyone can see them. Periodically pick a slip of paper from the cup to do for that day or week!
Age Specific Fasting Challenges
Below are challenges for the specific age that your children might be. Feel free to use them as is, to tweak them for your kids, or to use a different one than your child’s age. The important thing is that you start the conversation in your home!
Birth–Kinder
A great way to engage in a fast with this age is to set a time each day or for several Mondays in a row to stop whatever it is you’re doing and do something that helps you focus on God. Consider having your Alexa proudly announce at 7:20pm each night, “Time to stop what you’re doing and pray to God.” This will be exciting at first...and then everyone will be mad at Alexa after a few nights. I think that’s when you know it’s working.
Elementary
Elementary age is a great time to introduce the idea of going without something you want to eat. DO NOT skip a meal at this point, but going without candy, or sugary drinks, or desserts is a great reminder. When they “forget” and try to indulge in that desire you get the opportunity to remind them that we are focussing on our desire for God and that He’s even more important than candy.
Middle School
Middle Schoolers are ALL ABOUT getting what they want right now. So this age is a great season to go without something they spend too much time and attention on - things like video games, Netflix, cell phones, tiktok, Instagram, and any other thing that middle schoolers allow to have too much of a place of importance in their lives. This can be done for a long time, for one day a week for 6 weeks, or after 7:00pm every night. Just pick a rhythm that works for your family and that your teen is willing to commit to.
High School
One of the best ways to get High Schoolers into fasting is doing something alongside someone so that they can be continually encouraged about it. This also gives accountability. So something like waking up 30 minutes early for a quiet time Monday through Friday for 2 weeks is great—but if you have to send a text to your group for accountability that’s even better! Maybe a parent decides to do the same thing so you’re both tired and grumpy doing your quiet time together.