A slower “New Normal”

Photo by Nick Abrams on Unsplash

As we go through our current health situation, people are frequently using the term “new normal.” We speculate on what behaviors and perspectives will need to change following COVID-19. The assumption seems to be that these adaptations will become a regular part of our lives thus becoming a “new normal.” With all of that in mind, I want to share some thoughts about something I hope can be a part of a “new normal” for many of us.

For many of us, the "I-am-too-busy" struggle has been an issue even prior to the COVID-19 situation. Many people (including me) consistently describe themselves as simply being too busy or tired. This can be very complicated because it generates stress which can be costly in many areas of our lives. Areas such as physical health, emotional well-being, relationships, fulfillment and long term satisfaction can all be impacted by this busyness. Here are some thoughts from pastor and author Charles Swindoll about busyness.

Busyness robs relationships. It substitutes shallow frenzy for deep friendship. It promises satisfying dreams but delivers hollow nightmares. It feeds the ego but starves the inner man. It cultivates a program but plows under priorities.

Much of our activity these days is nothing more than a cheap anesthetic to deaden the pain for an empty life.

This might be a bit overstated, but for many of us it is uncomfortably close to the way we have been living. I can certainly relate to it. I have heard multiple people comment that they appreciate the fact that things slowed down over these past couple of months even though it was “forced” on us by circumstances. Others commented that it has been nice to eat together as a family without having to run off to the next activity. I know at our house, it has been nice to just sit on the patio and visit in the morning or the evening. I hope something like this can become part of a “new normal” for you and me.

I believe that many of us think it would be a good thing to slow down. So the question becomes, what keeps us from doing it? Here are some thoughts.

There are cultural forces that oppose slowing down. Our culture encourages and often seems to reward activity. Activity is often associated with perceived importance. That is, the more active we are, the more important we might feel. No one wants to be left out so we end up signing up for or participating in things that keep us on the move. We have to be careful because this mindset also impacts the way we raise our kids. We don’t want them to miss out on anything so we sign them up for almost everything. The net result is often over-committed families that do not have enough time or energy to simply enjoy one another. The reality is that we will often be swimming against the tide of culture if we choose to slow down and that can be quite a struggle.

There are relational issues that can make it hard for some of us to slow down. This might be especially true for those of us who are empty nesters or have older children. Because we have been so busy and spent so much time and energy on careers, activities, and raising children (or watching TV), we have not paid enough attention to cultivating the relationship with our spouse. If that is the case, we probably will have some work to do to reconnect, but it will be worth it.

Finally, there are spiritual forces that work against us. We have a potent spiritual enemy who does not want us to follow God’s instructions, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) The enemy does not want us to see the big picture and maintain a God-focused life. He would much rather us live an agitated, anxious, busy life than a more peaceful and trusting one. He would rather us do any number of good things at the expense of the best things such as healthy relationships with ourselves, other people, and God. First Peter 5:8 points out that “your enemy the devil prowls around looking for someone to devour.” One way that we can be devoured is to be over-committed by unhealthy and ultimately unproductive busyness.

Creating this “new normal” will not be easy. Frankly, in many cases, it will be very difficult. If you have been stretched too thin, things are already hard. If you choose to make these changes, that will also be hard. So the real question becomes which kind of “hard” do you want to choose. The over-committed, frenetic, rushing-around kind of hard can easily lead to an unhappy place. Developing and implementing the less busy, more balanced lifestyle is also hard, but it is much more likely to lead to a productive, peaceful, and healthier life.

Next week, we will follow-up on this. In the meantime, I encourage all of us to pray and ponder about where you stand on a “busyness” continuum. Think about your priorities. Are you living a lifestyle that is consistent with those priorities? Ask God and yourself if there is something you need to do differently to establish a new, healthier “normal”. One advantage in the current situation is that some old patterns by necessity have had to be changed. That can be a great starting point for developing a more Godly “new normal.”